The Practice of Love in a World Obsessed with Value

Love in Friendships: Beyond Utility

Friendships often begin with shared interests, proximity, or usefulness. You study together, work together, or laugh at the same jokes. But too often, they remain tethered to those conditions. When interests diverge or careers pull people apart, many friendships dissolve—not because the bond was false, but because it was contingent.

To love a friend unconditionally is to remain present beyond the shifting tides of convenience. It means saying: “Even if you no longer serve my growth, my network, or my entertainment, you are still worthy of my presence.” This is rare—and that rarity explains the loneliness of adulthood.

Love in Marriage: Contracts and Covenants

Marriages, more than any other human institution, expose the tension between valuation and love. We promise “for better or worse,” but often mean “for better, and until worse becomes unbearable.” The modern obsession with compatibility—shared hobbies, sexual chemistry, financial alignment—reveals how much of marriage is framed as contract.

True covenant love resists this calculus. It looks not at what is given in exchange, but at what is possible in the simple being-together. It is not blind to flaws, but refuses to make affection conditional upon their elimination. The couples who embody this are not those who avoid suffering, but those who walk through it without re-negotiating their love at every turn.

Love in Workplaces: The Impossible Dream?

Here lies perhaps the hardest test. In professional life, we are valued almost entirely for output, skill, and efficiency. To expect unconditional love in a workplace is folly. Yet, the human soul still hungers for recognition beyond the resume.

Managers who see their team not just as “resources” but as persons, colleagues who defend each other’s dignity even at personal cost—these are flashes of unconditional regard in a transactional space. They remind us that while organizations may trade in valuation, individuals can still practice love.

Love in the Self: The Forgotten Frontier

The hardest frontier of unconditional love is the self. We berate ourselves for every failure, value ourselves only when we succeed, and mirror society’s obsession with performance. To love oneself is often confused with self-indulgence. But true self-love is the quiet capacity to say: “I am valuable, even when I produce nothing, even when I stumble.”

This is not arrogance but humility, for it acknowledges that being alive is already a gift that requires no justification. Only from this ground can love of others flourish.

A Call to Relearn Love

If humanity is so poor at love, perhaps it is because we’ve mistaken it for valuation in every sphere of life—friendship, marriage, work, and even selfhood. To practice love in its truer form is to resist this cultural obsession with conditions.

It requires courage to love without a “because.” But if we dare, we might finally move closer to the very thing we keep failing to find.

About the Author

Dr. Julius Kirimi Sindi is a global expert in research funding, policy impact, and donor relations. With extensive experience in analyzing philanthropy, business, and science funding, Dr. Sindi fosters sustainable and inclusive research ecosystems. He has facilitated international business relationships across Africa, Europe, and Asia. His upcoming book, "The Blueprint of Life Well Lived," explores successful strategies for navigating complex business environments while achieving sustainable growth.